Flood The System
by thecon12
Summary: Erica's thoughts on the things that built up before Season 5 Episode 3 and what happens after the "naked" talk. Callica


Just uploading my fics from my Livejournal onto my ff profile

**Flooding The System**

Floods are normally pretty bad damn things; they rush in from nowhere and literally turn your life upside down without ever giving you the chance to fight back. Floods can ruin people's lives in an instant; lives lost, homes destroyed; daily life changed forever by the simple act of an overflow.

The only other time I ever experience floods, is at work; I'm a cardiothoracic surgeon and I'm one of the best…you know what scratch that, I am the best; Burke got shot and his hand had a tremor…I don't think I've ever enjoyed karma more…So floods at work consist of me dealing with endless patients and endless hours of surgery and I would complain if I didn't love it so much; my mind is flooded with knowledge that allows me to save lives; I'm focused and ready and I don't like to be swept away because that means I've failed.

But recently in my life I've experienced a different kind of flooding; it's new, uncharted, unexplored and I have no idea how to battle through it. Rain thunders down hard; pipes break and water rapidly appears rising quicker than you can handle; it's without warning; it's unexpected…there's no indication; no slow creeping up on you and into your life; it's simply just a moment; a click of the fingers.

That's what happened to me a few months back; I was getting along in my life; safe and steady on my path and then…BAM…it's just there; she's just there. Callie Torres rushed into my life like an unexpected flood and I never had the chance to see it coming.

My first reaction to these new floods is to be pissed; I hate change and I know that my instinct is to fight back; trying desperately to keep back the unforeseen. But Callie's different; she's stronger than any flood I've ever had to endure before…and I'm acutely aware that I didn't fight as hard as I could.

I think it was the night that I asked her and Mark out for a drink; well I was asking her but Sloan's Sloan and as long as I or any woman within a one mile radius has a pulse I'm sure he'll linger around with his pathetic attempts to flirt. I didn't hold eye contact for long; these people know nothing about me and yet at the end of a hard day they're the only ones around who understand what I've been through and I'd never openly admit it but I needed their comfort that night. Her dark chocolate brown eyes and gentle tone had an immediate affect on me; that night Callie Torres offered to be my safety rope in the flood and I took it without ever questioning why.

Our friendship came about the same way; there was never any talk of us becoming friends it just happened…one minute we were colleagues and the next we were friends…I'd never done that before; I mean I have friends and some of them are even doctors I've just never became friends with someone who works at the _same_ hospital as me. I've only been at Seattle Grace for a few months but it only took me a few minutes to realise that it wasn't just your average hospital.

Not average at all…The people working inside the walls of Seattle Grace are connected; their entwined and they love nothing more than knowing the insides and outsides of everyone else who works there. The residents act like a high school click; they're not your regular geeks to one side and popular to another…no there all oddballs in there own rights and I imagine that they have nothing in common and yet they spend their waking and sleeping hours together. There's Grey, who's sleeping with Shepherd, while living with Stevens and Karev and has a 'best friend' connection to that little idiot Yang…then there's Sloan who's best friends with Shepherd; slept with Montgomery (and every nurse) and Callie and likes to openly hit on me every time we're near each other…and then there's Callie…who for god only knows why, lives with Yang; even when Yang claims that they're not friends…confused? Yeah me too…but you get what I mean about how their all linked right?

So clearly that was a mess that I wanted whole heartedly to avoid…and I'd heard enough gossip within my first week that I was pretty sure my brain had melted enough that I was loosing valuable knowledge; my brain cells leaking from my ears which seemed to continuously ring with their nonsense.

Callie extended these easy gestures of friendship to me; a drink at Joe's, lunch together, even forced me into sunrise yoga (which she promised I'd enjoy…I didn't for awhile; until I found that standing behind her as opposed to next to her had it's advantages) and I gladly excepted them all; there was something about her that had me drawn; she was the kind of girl you imagined being too cool for you to be friends with and yet; here I was hanging out with Callie Torres; the 'badass ortho chick'.

Callie's a rambler; she fidgets when she's nervous and she talks nonstop. She's a very open person; she tells me how she feels about everything; the slightest thing to make her happy or piss her off and I'll know about it. I don't do that…talking about which patient I liked best and how attached I am to them…I don't get attached and I thought for sure this would make her disappointed in me…but it didn't; she's full of surprises. She always understands and is never judgemental and I love making her laugh when she's telling me some story about one of the residents and I get to give my brutally honest opinion on the little shits.

And Callie's beautiful…she's not beautiful in that if you squint and tilt your head to the left a little, beautiful; I mean she is the true definition of beautiful; she's graceful without trying to hard and yet she doesn't know that she is. Her marriage to that weasel O'Malley is something I can't understand no matter how many times she explains it to me…I can't comprehend even for a split second how he could have someone is his life as bright as Callie Torres and throw it all away without thought for a chance with Stevens. Callie always tells me it's because Stevens is a hot, blonde model and she's well; curvy…I like to remind her that if that's what model's look like now a days there's no wonder why there has been an increase in trailer homes; you can dress trash up anyway you like but in the end it's still just trash…once trailer trash always trailer trash…Callie might be curvy but putting her next to Izzie Stevens there's no competition as to who could steal away the air from people's lungs…Torres is a real woman and Stevens is still the awkward little girl with pigtails who gets into strops if she doesn't get her own way.

Remember how floods are unexpected? Well I'd happily adjusted to Callie and me being friends; our friendship was something that I was glad that I didn't fight against…but floods happen all the time and Dr Addison Montgomery aka close friend of Dr Callie Torres, was the just the beginning of the floods that seem to constantly surround us. The night Addison was in town I had my eyes glued to Callie; watching her seemed to be so natural and I'm pretty sure I'm unaware of how often she can hold my gaze. She was acting weird that night and hurried on out of Joe's with Sloan in hand; leaving me feeling on edge and bashful about what had slipped out of my mouth only moments before to Montgomery. I was right to be on edge too, a week of avoidance followed that night and I was worried that Addison may have shared what I'd said…I don't know why I felt hurt by Callie's distance but I did; it stung enough to make me grit my teeth together in anger…I've never been one for confrontation but being trapped in that small scrub room with her did something to me that I can't explain; I felt the _need_ to talk; to share with her how I was feeling…and afterwards I felt like an idiot and mentally slapped myself; Erica Hahn did _not_ get attached and she definitely didn't do vulnerability.

Callie explained what had triggered her vanishing act and I swear if there had been a picture of Addison lying around I would have tacked it to the dart board and finished my game in delight; knowing that my darts had punctured her face…but she was Callie's friend and these _feelings_…whatever they _were_ did not need to surface…laughing seemed appropriate and I'm thankful it managed to defuse the tension and let us slip back into our comfortable friendship.

The return of our friendship came along with the extension of Mark; he's like the free gift you get but can't give back…at least that's how I felt about him. Callie seemed to enjoy their on-room sessions so much that she started to feed Sloan's fantasies with talk of a threesome…a threesome that involved me…welcome unexpected flood number three…You know when you're trapped in water and you've been swimming for so long that your limbs are getting tired and your body begins to panic? Well I panicked in that elevator; I was tired of Sloan thinking he could have us both; I meant what I had said when I told him that I wasn't attracted to him and kissing Callie seemed like the perfect way to remind him of that…only kissing Callie made my aching limbs tingle to life and touching her soft lips as my fingers brushed against her cheek was like wearing an endless oxygen tank; I could breathe again and I liked it…I just wasn't sure if I was supposed to.

I'm not sure if Callie needed oxygen too but when she kissed me outside the hospital I felt her breathing air and life back into me; her lips were subtle and soft and the electric searing through me because of our delicate kisses pretty much frazzled my system…the flood of Torres had broke through my waterproof case and I was officially in the unexplored territory that I had been worrying about. Apparently Callie was in a maze of her own; and if her mouth suddenly felt as dry as mine when we pulled apart there's no surprise as to why we both silently walked away; there's nothing you can say when a flood takes you under.

I fought for two weeks to battle back to the surface; desperately wanting to free myself and breath the air that had been so constant in my life; not this terrifying new one. Seattle Grace is a big hospital but when two people are surgeons it's hard to avoid them completely. Callie took the first step; she must be a good swimmer because she seemed to handle the furious water overflowing us pretty well for someone who's just as confused as I am about this new development.

I should really tell you about the latest flood to sweep me off my feet; one word; Sloan…actually make it three words interfering man-whore! It's a strange feeling, to sense your blood in your veins, to feel it curving through your body, your heart pushing it through relentlessly but when Sloan leans towards me I can feel his words more than hear them and I know he's the smug happy little asshole he always is…only this time he knows…he knows about the thing between me and Callie…he can't know because I don't even know what it is for certain.

I see Callie at the nurses' station and I can't wait to talk to her; Sloan knows…I need her to tell me…she needs to help me with him, "We have a problem…Mark Sloan has found this out."

She's looking at me like I'm crazy and I can see the amused twinkle in her eyes as a sigh escapes past her lips, "Mark's known from the beginning…I told him," she replies so nonchalantly and turns back to her chart that I think my blood pressure just shot up.

"He's _Mark Sloan_," her eyes are locked onto mine and I think she can tell that I'm scandalized by the whole thing.

"You don't have a person that you talk to about things?" she still looks slightly amused and she's giving me a small smile; I'm not sure whether it's supposed to be comforting or not.

"You are the person I talk to about things," she lifts her head a little and purses her lips together; letting me finish, "I like to keep my private life private…from everyone…" I can't help but let my eyes scan around us quickly and when they land back on Callie's she looks amused again, "But definitely from Mark…Sloan," Izzie Stevens is lingering in the background and I know that we're done with this conversation for now; I glance at Callie again and I know she's taking what I said seriously because she gives me a small smile as we pass.

My day is filled with the Chief and his new rules, luckily that removes Yang from my service and replaces her with Karev; he might be a cocky asshole but he doesn't talk Burke like she does so I don't mind. I manage to find Callie alone in the staff room before I head off into surgery.

"Look..." she gives me a smile and puts down the paper she's reading, "We don't even know what we are yet so how does Mark Sloan know? Why are you talking to him instead of me?"

She wrests her chin in her palm as she leans against the table; she opens her mouth to reply but the door bursts open…of course he wouldn't be Sloan if he didn't appear every damn time he isn't wanted.

"Ladies…Am I interrupting?"

"Your timing is perfect…" I turn to shoot him a dissatisfied look, but he merely grins smugly like the idiot he is.

"Why are you about to feel her up?" I shoot Callie a look of irritation.

I swear he loves putting me into a bad mood because he just had to make that grotesque remark as I get up to leave. I feel irritated as hell as I head down the corridor and I dread knowing that they're probably talking about me now that I've left them alone.

The ceiling caves in while I'm in the OR and a real flood hits me just as hard as the internal one I'm struggling in at the moment; the water is rising faster and faster around us and we had to act quickly; a flood falling over me causing us to find and remove a tumour; I guess some floods can be good.

When I get to Joe's I can see Callie interacting with Yang and Stevens; they're laughing and I can feel the flood rising in my chest; I'm jealous of the way they make her laugh and I think about leaving…Then she's sauntering towards me; a sexy smirk covering her lips and a drink in her hand; I think my heart's about to be submerged under the flood of emotions rapidly taking over my being; I don't think I've ever been so terrified and excited at once.

She settles into her seat and her eyes are on mine; she looks slightly nervous and I can't help but smiling at her, "I get that you're a private person…but I am not…I process my stuff out loud…and I gave up to much of myself in my marriage; I can't…give up pieces of myself again and erm Mark is my friend."

She looking at me and I know that she wants me to reassure her that I understand but the flood suddenly has me drowning in it's current and I'm only able to come up for air when she's around; Callie Torres has completely flooded my system. I shrug and let a playful smirk creep onto my face "I think I just hate him because…he's seen you naked," she looks at me shocked for a minute and then lets out a laugh.

So I decided to be bold; she's holding onto pieces of herself because she's afraid to get lost in the uncertain flood that we are; and Mark's her safety rope…he's not all that bad I guess…I can let her trust him as long as she eventually lets me battle through the flood and put all of her broken pieces back together…she deserves to be whole…and if it takes Mark's help I can accept that…but he still is an ape of a man and I _really_ do hate him for seeing her naked

So she talks to people about how she's feeling and I don't…well I tell her most things but I'm not sure I can keep telling her _everything_ I'm thinking…not yet anyway. Floods are hard to survive but I pretty sure that our friendship is strong enough to help us through this unknown.

When I stand up and incline my head towards the dart board she gives me one of her big smiles; the one where all her dazzling white teeth are on show and I can't help but grin back. When we get to the dart board she waits by the mark while I retrieve the darts; I walk back to her and she's giving me this look; this twinkle in her gorgeous brown eyes and I know that she's thinking about what I said only a minute before; I stop just in front of her; leaving enough space between us to look innocent and yet it's small enough that I can faintly feel her breath against my lips. I twirl the darts around in my hand; making sure the un-sharp end is facing her before holding them out to her; her hand slides over mine; her thumb and finger pinching hold of the dart while her other fingers run across my knuckles; my eyes drop to our hands and then quickly back to her face; a smirk is tugging at her lips but I know she feels it too.

She steps past me; her shoulder brushing against mine and stops long enough to murmur next to my ear, "I'll make you forget that Mark ever saw me naked."

I know I'm watching her with my mouth hung open and I can feel the flush creeping up my chest; I clear my throat and turn around to take a long needed sip of my wine; something has to get rid of the sudden dryness and my sudden speechlessness. She throws her darts and turns to give me a look of annoyance when they all land around the board; she hurriedly snatches them from the board and I hold my hand out to her expecting her to pass them to me; instead she gives me a smile and lifts the darts out of my reach.

"Since you have such _expert_ hands Dr Hahn; why don't you show me?" She wiggles her eyebrows and an amused sigh escapes her lips when she notices my eyes widening, "Come on, show me how to get these damn darts to actually hit the board," I stand and shuffle towards her; my palms feeling sweaty; I reach for the darts again but she shakes her head, "I learn quicker with a hands _on_ approach…why don't you just guide me?"

She watches me glance around the bar; her eyebrow raised and her eyes holding mine when I return my gaze to her. She's challenging me because of what I said about keeping my private life private; she thinks I'll back down because Yang and the rest of the hospital gossipers are here.

Callie lets out a surprised gasp when I gently curl my fingers around her wrist; my body behind hers; not quite touching but enough for us to feel the heat of the other. I lift her hand in mine; gently rock it back and forth and tell her to release the dart when I count to three…We watch the dart fly into the bulls eye; her head twisting around to look at me; her smile fading instantly when she realises how close our mouths are. I let go of her wrist and pull away from her, "I'd say the hands on approach worked pretty well Torres; you hit the bulls eye; that's hitting the jackpot don't you think?"

Callie nods her head; her eyes a shade darker as she smiles at me, "Yeah I'd say I'd hit the jackpot alright," she nudges my shoulder playfully as she reaches for her drink and I can't help from smiling; floods change people's lives; they knock down everything you've ever know; leaving you to start over again and sometimes starting new is the _best _thing that could ever happen to you.


End file.
